Monday, March 10, 2008

I'm going to be away for a while.

Hello everyone!

I received some bad news recently....my father passed away suddenly over the weekend! I experienced a series of emotions after hearing the news. my emotion levels ranged from shock, anger and finally pain. When I was a child, I worshipped the ground he walked on. In my eyes....my daddy was the best daddy in the world! When I was eight years old, my mom and dad divorced. I remember that I wasn't sure what the word "divorce" meant and I still thought everything would be alright. Well it wasn't, I didn't see or hear from my dad until I was adult with my own children!
My hurt turned into anger and sometimes hate for him. How could he do this to me? Did he ever care about me or my brothers?
I asked him those questions a few years ago and he broke down and cried. Once again I forgave him. I told him that all was forgiven, we can't "go back" we can only move forward. My dad made so many teary promises and disappeared from our lives again. I never heard another word from him or about him until this past weekend. Now he's gone forever! I have had a heavy weight on my shoulders the past few days. I made up my mind that I will do the right thing and attend my dads funeral with my brothers and family. I don't know why some people hurt the ones they love, life can be very difficult to understand at times. I have forgiven my father and may he rest in peace knowing that all is forgiven.

*When we return from West Virginia and I get a lot of "stuff" sorted out, I will return to commenting on all the beautiful cards and projects again. I just have to "get my self together"! I keep telling myself that things will get better soon and in my heart I know they will:)

38 comments:

Jan Scholl said...

I am sending you a big hug-because I know exactly what you are going thru. Maybe when better weather comes, you and I can meet up and talk or we can IM. Sometimes, having a "sister" who has been there helps. I know it still hurts for me, but talking makes helps me think around it all.

Nancy Grant said...

So sorry to hear the news Malieta. You are in my heart and in my prayers.

Sincerely,
Nancy Grant

mochamama said...

Malieta I don't even know what to say hun. You have so many emotions to work through as if grief isn't enough! I'm hugging you in my prayers!!! I'll miss you

Courtney Fowler said...

Praying for comfort during this hard time.

Hugs!

pescbrico said...

OH Malieta, I'm so sorry :( Here is a big ((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))) for you. Just know that my heart is with you and your family in this difficult time. You are doing the right thing. Everything will be better, time will help you feel better. But I know that for now it hurts. I'm praying for you all.

Flossie's Follies said...

I am so sorry to hear about your father's passing. It is hard for some people to give unconditional love, it seems that you can, but unfortunately your father was not. I am sure that you were always in his thoughts. My prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

ScrapMomOf2 said...

Oh Malieta . . . I'm so sorry to hear about the anger and frustration that you're going through. It sounds very difficult and very emotional. Take care of yourself. My thoughts and sympathies are with you and your family at this time. Forgiveness can be difficult, but sometimes it's so necessary. TAKE CARE!

2 Worlds said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that !
I hope you feel better soon
my prayers are with your family !

KayellWY said...

Have a safe journey in all ways -- on the road, in your heart and in your mind. Wrap yourself in the warmth of your family.

Hugs,

Karen

SpAzzGiRL said...

oh Malieta...so sorry to hear about your bad news. My thoughts are with you during this trying time, I hope you will be back to feeling yourself soon!

Lauren said...

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Rita said...

So sorry for your loss Malieta. We will all be here for you when you get back. Take care & God Bless. Anytime you want to talk just send me an email, you know I'm always here!

Alexandra said...

I am soooo very sorry to hear about you dad Malieta - but I totally understand your conflicting feelings as well. Big ((((CYBER HUGS)))) to you my friend, you will be in my prayers! *STAMPIN HUGS* Alex

Deb said...

Malieta, I am so very sorry for your loss, I think you are right to go along and say farewell to him. Huge hugs to you and your family, take care!

Maria said...

Oh Malieta,

I'm so, so sorry to hear of your father's passing. I am saddened for you, not only for the loss of your father but for the history between the two of you.

It's always that sense of a possible second chance of a relationship that we always think about but sometimes never have. Going to his funeral is I think will be a good way to have some closure, although it may take some time to actually come to terms with the loss and what could have been. I understand.

My condolenses to you and your family and my thoughts are with you!!

Maria

Dana said...

OMG Malieta. I can't begin to explain how sorry and hurt I feel for you. No one should be hurt by their parent the way you obviously have been. You are a strong person to forgive your father for his indescretions, and I applaud you for attending his funeral. Keep your chin up. You can do it. I'm thinking of you.

Wife2TJ said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. ((((HUGS)))))

stampinsilvia said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and the pain he has caused you throughout your life...Just know that God is with you and he will heal the pain, anger and sorrow you are feeling right now! You will be in my prayers!

Smriti said...

Hi Malieta, life is like that...it can be so difficult at times. Your mind and heart will always be at peace knowing that you're doing the right thing. May God be with you at all times!

Smriti said...

Hi Malieta, life is like that...it can be so difficult at times. Your mind and heart will always be at peace knowing that you're doing the right thing. May God be with you at all times!

All Pink girl said...

I am so so sorry ,my heart and thoughts are with you xxxxHugs xxxDawnxx

Andrea, said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will be thinking of you. Take Care

Ana Baird said...

Sorry to hear about your Dad's passing away. Hope you feel better too. Looking forward to seeing your new cards

Chris said...

Malieta I am so sorry for your sadness... nothing I can say will make it better for you but know that I am thinking of you and hope you are back with us soon. Do look after yourself though hun...grief is a strange emotion and brings up all sorts of 'stuff' of it's own.
Sending you love and hugs...take care.
Chris xx

Diane said...

I'm so saddened about your past with your father.I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.You are doing the right thing going to the funeral,something similar happened to my husband and when his father passed,he had a long talk with him in the funeral home. He told him everything he had to say and then told him he had forgiven him.
It will take time to heal,just take it one day a time.
Sending you all some big hugs!!!

Fe-Fe said...

Sorry to hear you've had such a bad time Malieta. My thoughts are with you.

Hugs
Fe x

Elaine said...

Mali,
My heart goes out to you. Deepest sympathies. You are a very smart woman to know that you are doing the right thing by attending his funeral. Many hugs and much love to you!

Elaine

Teri said...

Hi Malieta, sorry to hear about your dad. You are doing the right thing to make peace even now. Take care of yourself, you are important too! sending you lots of love and aloha, Teri

Michelle said...

My heart is with you, Malieta.

Stamper Gail said...

I don't know why I never saw this post after talking with you Risa. It takes a lot to be able to express your feelings so publicly, but I'm glad for you that you were able to do this. Sometimes a release like this can do a lot for a person. I know we've spoken since you returned, but I just wanted to add that I'm so very proud of the way you've handled everything concerning your Dad's death. What an incredible gal you are with all this forgiveness. Sending you endless hugs,
Gail

scrapnnMO said...

OH I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Plese know that you and your family are in my prayers. Sending you lots and lots of HUGS!

Beth Norman said...

Your story left me with goosebumps. Seriously, it did. What an emotional time for you. I hope you are able to heal quickly. God bless you and your dad.

My Paper World said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news Malieta.
I can understand your conflicting emotions, I hope that you start to feel better soon.
I will be thinking of you. xx

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Ila said...

So sorry to hear this sad news Malieta. Losing a parent is always traumatic.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....Take Care..Big Hug!..Ila

Corie said...

Oh my I am so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!!

Big HUGS,
Corie

Marlou said...

im very sorry to hear your sad news Malieta, and I pray for you at this sad and emotional time , love Marlou xx